Originally Posted by
Eleven
Having made 5 trans-oceanic moves in my life, if there was any social anxiety in me before the first one, it was well and truly gone by my 3rd when I was 16. I initiate conversations with strangers ALL the time anywhere about anything especially when there are visual cues. Having said that, I don't CONTINUE conversations because of verbal or body language cues. And really, that's what I experienced at Joe's when I initiated chats. My translation of those cues was that members, in the flesh, weren't looking to expand membership. It may sound so; however, I'm not griping. I'm writing all this so that, in future, some might choose to consciously project a more welcoming stance to new faces for a few minutes...and then direct them to the signer-uppers.
Had to look up what a Lucha mask was, but I'll approach you the next time I see you...but it probably won't be at Joe's.
I'm more interested in providing choices for decision-making than the actual decision. With enough good choices, the chosen matters less....to me.
As far as free tickets go, I've already given one away to a forum member. No idea if he is an RPB member. We met at the gate for the tix handoff... it was funny. He couldn't find me where I texted I would be. Not a single person other than me (and them 2-3m away) in that spot for 6-7 metres. So I phoned him, saw him go to answer and walked towards them. Reached them as he answered and I said "you're right in front of me, aren't you?" He turned. Hahahaha. It's cause he wasn't expecting to get his free tix from a woman at the game on her own.
Responding to further comments about being the initiator of conversations... I did. I almost always do over a wide range of demographics in various countries, cities, villages, social environments, etc. I have in-person friendships through a coffee forum while I was in the Netherlands and they were spread out in England, France, Vienna, Germany, Netherlands, Norway, Finland and one UofT prof in Toronto. When I returned to Canada after a 10 year absence, I gave up corporate $$$ regular paycheck for $8.50/hr coffee job for the love of the thing. That job though... not only did I learn to chat with everyone...it made my day to welcome new people to the neighbourhood and intro them to regulars as well as regulars to each other. Never mind kiddie play dates, I've help set up doggie play dates! Starting up convos is far from my weakest points.
I have good personal hygiene: I don't smell bad. People tell me I have nice teeth: I smile a lot. Strangers randomly tell me I have a nice smile: I'm approachable. I can dabble in 5 languages: I can find ways to communicate.
So, if the onus is on a new person to (want to) obtain membership, how many times would one suggest said person attend the admitted clique"ish" events and what else should (s)he do other than initiate conversations (didnt work for me) in order to find his/her "spot"? Sounds harsh? Perhaps if one were to look at it from a 1st impressions viewpoint, it might encourage more members to consciously foster a more inclusive environment if enticing new membership is an important goal. What if the onus of membership were on the members instead? Kudos to those of you who kept trying! Do you wonder how many didn't...and didn't tell you why?