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denime
05-23-2008, 06:11 AM
Knight: The anguish of penalty kicks



I've got an idea for an action-adventure movie.
Prisoner of war camp. Awful place. Oz, but dirtier – and colder. For whatever reason, it's all boiling up, and they're settling everything on a jagged, stony soccer pitch. Relentless, horrid tackling. Brilliance edges ahead, brutality batters it back. Betrayals and sub-plots abound. Soul-stealing side deals are being done everywhere. The consequences will be lethal, whichever way this goes.
After hours of horrifying play, few are left standing and nothing is settled. The camp commandant blows his whistle – and points to the penalty spot. At that moment, Amnesty International and the United Nations blow every hatch, and kick in all the doors. The camp is seized, the prisoners freed, and all the guards are all hauled away and jailed … on the grounds that a penalty kick shootout constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.
Run that script past Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United, or his Chelsea colleagues John Terry and Nicolas Anelka, and I think they would nod grimly – and get the heck away from you as quickly as their exhausted legs could take them.



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