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View Full Version : Fake Diary of Tim Leiweke



ensco
05-14-2014, 05:00 PM
My mission is to give people the ability to give their seats away. That’s all.

Only Michael Bradley is doing what I need him to do (he took the last few weeks off, Jurgen called as a courtesy to tell me, it’s fine) but Michael, much as I love the kid, is not moving the needle.

“Michael Bradley” is a board game maker for 97% of Toronto-ers, or whatever they’re called here.

Christ. Defoe was supposed to go to the World Cup. He wasn’t supposed to be here, moping, about not going to Brazil. We were supposed to be out this summer marketing a World Cup player, a Canadian legend, and some exciting football.

Instead much of the sports public will now look at us and see a couple of demoralized has-beens who are just here for the paycheck, teamed with a couple of goddamn Brazilians who have the last touch of hockey players out there.

We cannot hold this sellout fiction together much longer. We have actually come close to selling out, the good start helped, but we are going to have thousands of empty seats in the summer if we don’t start playing a lot better, because the summer is when people who are away, need to be able to at least give their goddamn seats away!

Without a full-ish looking stadium, I cannot keep the narrative that TFC can be a 30K sellout team together, and without that the BMO deal doesn’t work. I have learned never to rely on the team playing better. They never do. I need to go bigger. Now. While I still have the chequebook with no strings attached.

I need to dump this Brazilian DP and go even bigger than Defoe. All these guys like Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole think I’m interested, and I am chumming them along, but they’re not close to what I want. I want Andrea Pirlo. Ryan is a nice guy, but I have plenty of Doogie Howsers around me. I need to get an Ancelotti, someone who can make people stand up and notice (I wonder, if Real Madrid lose next Saturday, could I actually get Ancelotti? or maybe Jurgen, if he gets punched out quickly in the World Cup, which Levy told me I should bet on).

I need all of this in July! I am running out of time. Every gig like this has a honeymoon period, maybe 18 months. Then the knives are out.

Derko
05-14-2014, 05:03 PM
WTF^ a waste of space

barticusz
05-14-2014, 05:19 PM
... yawn. :facepalm:

Dv23
05-14-2014, 06:42 PM
http://cdn01.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/14/jennifer-lawrence-10.gif

DOMIN8R
05-14-2014, 07:06 PM
:lurk5:

I liked it.

:noidea:

Tough crowd.

:dita:

OgtheDim
05-14-2014, 07:14 PM
Too early.....he hasn't messed up enough yet.

tfcleeds
05-14-2014, 08:14 PM
Lol...I figured it was only a matter of time before ensco started this. It's all meant in good fun people.

tfcleeds
05-14-2014, 08:16 PM
But please...no Rio Ferdinand. We don't need failed drug test types who look like a camel.

Alonso
05-14-2014, 08:56 PM
I have a hard time seeing Leiweke being portrayed as Machiavellian like Anselmi clearly was. Machiavelli with a touch of tweedle dumb that is.


Definitely a good laugh as always from Ensco though...

jloome
05-15-2014, 04:26 PM
I have a hard time seeing Leiweke being portrayed as Machiavellian like Anselmi clearly was. Machiavelli with a touch of tweedle dumb that is.


Definitely a good laugh as always from Ensco though...

People remember Machiavelli because he was successful at it. I have a much easier time seeing Tim L in that role than a corporate ladder climber like Anselmi. Lieweke has a real huckster/showman background, and parlayed the right decisions (and a lot of other peoples' money) into success. We remember the successes, not the failures.

Having said that, I know how long Ensco has been around top-level corporate types and I don't imagine he's actually that far off. You don't make waves and create change by being patient in the face of mediocrity. The real big fish are risk-takers who are also self-preservationists by moving along to new waters or drowning the odd scapegoat. Guys like Anselmi are just self-preservationists, and swim with like minds.

ManUtd4ever
05-15-2014, 10:53 PM
Some people need to acquire a sense of humor.

OgtheDim
05-16-2014, 06:16 AM
Some people need to acquire a sense of humor.

All I see is critiques of the humour.

Abou Sky
05-16-2014, 06:36 AM
Some people need to acquire a sense of humor.

+1

I don't necessarily agree, but it WAS funny...

Fort York Redcoat
05-16-2014, 07:02 AM
Then the knives are out.

Et Tu Brute

Wait...I mean Casca. He shanked first.

Have fun. I know plenty folks love it.

Pigfynn
05-16-2014, 07:35 AM
Everybody relax. He's just having a laugh.

Remember that? Used to be more common around these parts.

MKR
05-16-2014, 07:46 AM
you'd think the first diary entry would be more serene and calm. You know with the how he 'fixed' the team and all?

Phil
05-16-2014, 07:49 AM
Everybody relax. He's just having a laugh.

Remember that? Used to be more common around these parts.

Bingo, I am glad its back :D

I got a lot of laughs out of the last one.

ManUtd4ever
05-16-2014, 09:25 AM
All I see is critiques of the humour.

That's what I meant. I thought it was funny.

Pookie
05-16-2014, 10:22 AM
Truth in humour. The NYRB game still has tickets available.

InDa_110
05-16-2014, 11:40 AM
Dumb fucken trade today! Should be latest entry