Truths about Dichio...

[romburgundy]

10. Some kids play Kick the can. Dichio played Kick the keg as a child.
09. Dichio can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
08. Dichio doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
07. When Dichio does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
06. When Dichio talks, everybody listens. And dies.
05. Dichio invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Landycakes invented pink.
04. Dichio doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Dichio throws down!
03. Dichio once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
02. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Dichio pajamas with a big #9 on the back.
01. Dichio's tears can cure all known and unknown diseases... too bad he's never cried.


Feel free to add

[NateDoGG]

danny dichio grinds his coffee with his teeth

[justin]

danny dichio invited chuck norris over for dinner one night. chuck brought a live cow, slaughtered it with his baby toe, and barbeque'd it with the heat radiating from his armpit. dichio thanked chuck for this, then ate his soul for dessert.

[Chevy]

Danny Dichio is so tough even Catholic Nuns are scared of him.

[Wolfe]

I just pissed my pants, that was funny as hell

[Wolfe]

***BREAKING NEWS!!!!***

Danny Dichio has just been hired by Air Canada. To cut fuel costs, Danny will be throwing plans from Pearson International to destinations all over the globe.

[Bars92]

Roy of the Rovers reads Danny Dichio comics..

[MisterMacphisto]

Apple pays Danny Dichio 99¢ every time he listens to a song.

[Dozitwin]

Before the Boogie Man goes to bed he checks under his bed and in his closet for Danny Dichio

[MisterMacphisto]

Danny Dichio doesn't sleep..... he waits.

[Eastend]

Danny Dichio has fooled George W. and the U.S. of A. The reason they can't find any weapons of mass distruction is because they've been looking in the wrong place.

HE IS IN THE T-dot MOFOs!!!

[TFC Via Buffalo]

Danny Dichio CAN believe it's not butter.

Little known medical fact: Danny Dichio invented the Caesarean section when he bicycle kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

[Cantstoptherock]

Dichio has two speeds: Walk and Kill

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Dichio allows to live.

Danny Dichio is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Danny Dichio.

[Stanooch]

With the rising cost of gasoline, Danny Dichio is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

There is no such thing as global warming. Danny Dichio was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Danny Dichio can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

[TFC Via Buffalo]

When you play Monopoly with Danny Dichio, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

Only Danny Dichio can prevent forest fires.

[Captain Croatia]

Danny Dichio was doing a lady in a barn one night, and accidentally some of his sperm got onto a old tractor, to this day, that tractor is knows as Optimus Prime.

[yanggoh]

When he was a child, Danny Dichio had a night light. Not because he was afraid of the dark, but because the dark was afraid of him.

[tfctillidie]

Danny Dichio can touch MC Hammer

[OHARARULES]

http://ohararules.googlepages.com/tfcSupermancopy.jpg/tfcSupermancopy-full;init:.jpg

[jloome]

The Mountain wouldn't come to Danny Dichio, So Danny Dichio kicked the mountain's sorry ass.

They had 39 flavours at Baskin Robbins but now they just have Hunka Chunka Dichio, and nobody complains. Or asks what's in it.

Danny Dichio is like some crazy pothead hitman combo: he'll beat your sorry ass as long his joints don't make him break down.

In Japan, Danny Dichio is revered as the Danyu-San, the Monster who Destroyed Tokyo.

Danny Dichio once yawned and swallowed a football, preventing it from striking him in the nose. He burped the Stone Roses for 10 straight minutes.

On dark, bleak nights, Vinny Jones, Dennis Wise and Roy Keane fear meeting Danny Dichio in a dark alley.

[905shmick]

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Danny D that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said “of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?”


If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Danny D.


When you play Monopoly with Danny D, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

[Bars92]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-Dany Dhicio Danny Dichio Danny Dichioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[SLBuu]

Danny Dichio can divide by 0............

[tfctillidie]

Geico saved 15% on car insurance by switching to Danny Dichio.

[Broadview]

Danny Dichio is so huge, there's still snow on top of him in the summertime.

[Broadview]

Danny Dichio is exactly what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

http://www.repmanblog.com/photos/uncategorized/gary_coleman1_1.jpg

[Carts]

Dichio doesn't work out with weights at the gym - he just lifts the entire gym up 100-times...

Dichio currently holds the IBF, IBA, UFC, WWE, MMA, and WBC World Heavyweight Championships belts - he just lets other guys fight with them so its good for TV rating...

And finally...

Dichio was denied entry into the Indy 500, Monaco GP, and Daytona 500 this year - he was going to run the race on foot, but organizers thought it would only be fair if he was forced to speed walk it...

Carts...

[justin]

a little burn on myself here too...

when danny dichio takes a vacation in france, they raise a white flag just to be safe.

[noochie]

Once when Danny was vactioning in Arizona he got angry and punched the earth, subsequent vacationers have been in awe ever since.

[Damien]

Danny Dichio's favorite fishing lure is dynamite.

[jabbronies]

Danny Dichio can count to infinite

[jabbronies]

The reason the solar system is growing outwards is because its afraid of Danny Dichio

[Rawkus_420]

Danny Dichio built the stairway to heaven

[SLBuu]

Danny Dichio doesn't get wet, the water gets Danny Dichio'd!!!!

[Kooper]

Danny Dichio doesn't kick soccer balls, they get out of the way of his foot.

[Nerepis]

The reason TFC plays so many games in the rain is because the Sun is afraid of Danny Dichio.

[ExiledRed]

Fieldturf is more likely to be injured by Danny Dichio than grass. :)

[Cigano7]

Football is 11 against 11 in the end Danny Dichio wins!

[TFC Via Buffalo]

Danny Dichio once played in the African Cup of Nations on his own as the Nation of Dichio. He beat the Ivory Coast in the finals.

[canadian_bhoy]

When Danny Dichio does push-ups, his body doesn't move up, the world moves down

[ParadymeTFC]

Danny Dichio can kill two stones with one bird.
Danny Dichio can unscramble an egg.
Danny Dichio is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Crop circles are Danny Dichio's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Danny Dichio once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
If Danny Dichio is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Danny Dichio ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you want a list of Danny Dichio’s enemies, just check the extinct species list.

And one of Danny's favorites: Danny Dichio once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

[jabbronies]

You shouldn't think about Danny Dichio because he'll come out of your mind and kill you

[tfctillidie]

Danny Dichio can count to infinite

haha yes he can count to infinite...twice

[romburgundy]

If Dichio was a woman his name would be Donaven.

[Canadian Blue]

If you can see Danny Dichio you should be scared, if you can not see Danny Dichio you are seconds away from death

Danny Dichio is the alpha and the omega

[mighty_torontofc_2008]

slower then a dog with 3 missing legs,,,

[Steve-Tor]

:D

Some belters on here:canada:

[David_Oliveira]

On the 7th day God rested... because Danny Dichio said so

[Canadian Blue]

So it is said
So it shall come to pass
Quote the Dichio nevermore

[Canadian Blue]

Romeo and Juliet didn't commit suicide........Juliet was actually dating Dichio and he pulled off the original OJ.


ok I admit this was a bit of a stretch

[tfctillidie]

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Danny Dichio allows to live.

[tfctillidie]

my favourite one is what colour is Danny Dichio's blood?


thats a trick question...Danny Dichio doesnt bleed!

[noochie]

Solar Eclipse: An event that occurs on the occasion when Danny Dichio climbs on a ladder to clean the gutters of his house.

[Brooker]

In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Danny Dichio, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Danny Dichio has actually been dead for years. Death is afraid to come get him.

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Danny Dichio and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

[TFC Tifoso]

Hahaha....I love these....I made a post with a bunch of these on the old board and still had them saved on my computer.....here they are, enjoy kids!

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Danny Dichio can piss his name into concrete.
Danny Dichio's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Danny Dichio.
Danny Dichio's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Danny Dichio once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Danny Dichio counted to infinity - twice.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Danny Dichio's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Danny Dichio can speak braille.
If you spell Danny Dichio wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Danny Dichio?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Danny Dichio owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Danny Dichio can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Danny Dichio once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Danny Dichio died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Once a cobra bit Danny Dichio's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Danny Dichio.
Danny Dichio can delete the Recycling Bin.
Danny Dichio can slam revolving doors.
Superman owns a pair of Danny Dichio pajamas.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Danny Dichio says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
Danny Dichio can play the violin with a piano.
Danny Dichio doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Danny Dichio sleeps with a night light. Not because Danny Dichio is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Danny Dichio.
Danny Dichio secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
When Danny Dichio gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Danny Dichio banging your sister.
Danny Dichio sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled soccer ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Danny bicycle kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Danny Dichio's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Danny Dichio will not take shit from anyone.
Danny Dichio doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Danny Dichio can kill two stones with one bird.
Danny Dichio was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Danny Dichio is always on top during sex because Danny Dichio never fucks up.
Danny Dichio doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Danny Dichio is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Danny Dichio's PC will crash.
Danny Dichio has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
Danny Dichio can build a snowman out of rain.
Danny Dichio plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Danny Dichio can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Danny Dichio is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Danny Dichio.
Danny Dichio can drown a fish.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Danny Dichio can touch this.
Danny Dichio is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.
Danny Dichio once kicked a man in the soul.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Danny Dichio can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
When Danny Dichio looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Danny Dichio and Danny Dichio.
Danny Dichio once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Danny Dichio.
A rogue squirrel once challenged Danny Dichio to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Danny simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Danny knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.
Danny Dichio doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
Danny Dichio once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Danny Dichio can throw Brett Favre even further.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Danny Dichio and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Danny Dichio doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
When God said, "Let there be light", Danny Dichio said, "say please."
The only time Danny Dichio was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
The last digit of pi is Danny Dichio. He is the end of all things.
Danny Dichio can tie his shoes with his feet.
Danny Dichio once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Danny Dichio during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Danny Dichio is.
Danny Dichio used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
Danny Dichio is the only person that can kick a cyclops between the eye.
Danny Dichio cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Danny Dichio says.
Bullets dodge Danny Dichio.
The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Danny Dichio. This amuses Danny Dichio because he is bulletproof.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Danny Dichio has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

[Technorgasm]

Very few people know that the Tsunami in S.E. Asia, was actually the result of a Danny Dichio free kick, while in training at BMO field.

[Oldtimer]

There is a limit to how many digits Pi has. It ends when Danny Dichio says so.

[Kevvv]

When he sees Danny Dichio, the guy in the Dos Equis commercial wets his pants.

[GrimsbyTown]

a little burn on myself here too...

when danny dichio takes a vacation in france, they raise a white flag just to be safe.

:smilielol5:

Thats hilarious.

[Blazer]

They were going to release a Danny Dichio edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be, "Danny Dichio. At BMO Field. In the 24th minute".

[ExiledRed]

You need a cheat code to lose at the 'Be Danny Dichio' videogame.

Danny Dichio can make molehills out of mountains.

[MrHawk]

Danny Dichio can count to infinite.

Danny Dichio once went to a Wal-Mart and demanded lower prices. They refused and he kicked the sign and the price dropped. The commercial was born.

When asked "What to do tonight?" the answer should be "Don't give Dichio the ball he'll score on us"

[romburgundy]

All it took was Danny Dichio staring down Jack Bauer for 3 minutes and he was singing like a canary

[Daveisonfire]

Danny Dichio invented Thomas Edison

[tfctillidie]

Danny Dichio's belly button is actually a power outlet.

[Brooker]

They were going to release a Danny Dichio edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be, "Danny Dichio. At BMO Field. In the 24th minute".

:hump::hump::hump:

[thrillgill]

Danny Dichio ripped out Mike Tyson's heart and ate his children!!!

[pimpslapt]

danny dichio doesn't believe in god, god believes in danny dichio

[zeelaw]

Dichio doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

[MisterMacphisto]

Dichio doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

That's a good one, I never read that in this thread yet. :rolleyes::)

[zeelaw]

That's a good one, I never read that in this thread yet. :rolleyes::)
Didn't waste my time looking through a million chuck norris jokes

[TFC Via Buffalo]

Danny Dichio once passed Steve Gerrard 40 yards.......... with his penis.

[jayeden]

danny dichio can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

[Rawkus_420]

danny dichio can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

:hump::rofl:

[rocker]

TFC has fired Bitchy the Hawk after they realized Dichio scared away the seagulls all by himself.

[Miko]

When Danny Dichio wants an omelette, he breaks open a chicken.

[ExiledRed]

If the Cern Laboratory in Geneva actually does create a planet eating black hole, Danny Dichio is on standby to devour it.

[Rawkus_420]

Danny Dichio gives bears "dichio hugs".

[noochie]

http://www.staythirstymyfriends.com

[Rawkus_420]

^^^I think the best ones are the ones we think of ourselves. Keeps me entertained at work when I think about how awesome Dichio is lol

[noochie]

^^^I think the best ones are the ones we think of ourselves. Keeps me entertained at work when I think about how awesome Dichio is lol

I think the one about building a city out of blocks was actually Danny D. The dos equis folks ran out of ideas ;)

[TFC Via Buffalo]

In 2010, the World Cup will be played in by at least 17 teams who's entire squads were fathered by Danny Dichio during a single night.

[Wolfe]

Danny Dichio isn't suffering from a concussion, a concussion is suffering from Danny Dichio!

[kitchener-TFC]

Great Jokes So Far!

[ExiledRed]

If Danny Dichio gets a concussion, it's because he punched himself in the head.

There is no other explanation.

[CenturySam]

Badum BUMP!!!



DICHIO 4 MAYOR!!!!

maybe we get grass then!

[ArmenJBX]

These are all quite lolsworthy I must say :D

[Chevy]

Danny Dichio tore down the Rocky Mountains with his bare hands and built a sloping highway from Vancouver to St. John's...

....just so he could "coast to coast".

[Red CB Toronto]

Danny Is "The Man" , He left it all on the field right to the end, all heart through good times and bad, regardless of how much pain the body must have felt.

[Bars92]

Roy of the Rovers reads Danny Dichio comics!

[T.O TILL I DIE]

danny dichio is cool.............

[dclaro]

Dichio ended the garbage strike, because he told them to

[Shakes McQueen]

Danny Dichio is actually the real final boss of Mike Tyson's Punchout.

- Scott

[Brooker]

when Danny Dichio jumps into a lake he doesn't get wet. the water gets Danny Dichio'ed.

[Oblio2]

danny dichio invited chuck norris over for dinner one night. chuck brought a live cow, slaughtered it with his baby toe, and barbeque'd it with the heat radiating from his armpit. dichio thanked chuck for this, then ate his soul for dessert.


LOL
Spit my coffee out

[Oldtimer]

The real secret reason BMO Field hasn't had grass until now is because Danny Dichio's intensity burns up all of the grass on the pitch.

[jabbronies]

In the original script for Star Wars Ep4, the name of the death star was suppose to be Danny Dichio. Unfortunatly, when they tried to destory it at the end of the movie, it backfired and the entire star wars galaxy was destoryed instead.

[jabbronies]

***Star Trek the movie spoiler***

Spock tried to put the vulcan death grip on Danny Dichio. While he was doing that, danny felt what he thought was a tickle on his shoulder, scratched it and killed the whole vulcan planet in the process!!!

[Afra]

Danny Dichio knows how they get the caramel into the caramilk bar.

Danny Dichio knows how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a tootsie role tootsie pop.

Danny Dichio built the pyramids.

Danny Dichio could coach the Leafs to a cup.

The expression 'putting a horse out to stud' came from Danny Dichio's sunday afternoons.

[Lucky Strike]

Danny Dichio is the only person who could punch you in the back of the face.

[s2cazz]

When Dichio was born he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first and she was his second.

[Lucky Strike]

"El Chupacabra" really means "Danny Dichio" in English.

[TorCanSoc]

I believe Chupacabra means goat sucker in Spanish. An ominous image of some kind of mythical beast sucking the blood out of goats.
.
.
. but when I hear it I think of Wayne's World and "He Blows Goats - I Have Proof" placard. Hardly intimidating. :)

[TFC_Junky]

Danny Dichio could coach the Leafs to a cup.


SHAZAM!!! LMFAO!!! :facepalm:

[Lucky Strike]

Earthquakes are not natural occurrences. In fact, they happen whenever Danny Dichio jumps.

[Lucky Strike]

- The only reason Danny Dichio didn't get his Canadian citizenship immediately when he asked for it, was that England was too afraid that Danny would no longer be on their side.

- Had the Empire used Danny Dichio as their template to clone the stormtroopers, Darth Vader would still be in power.

[Afra]

Bruce Springsteen calls him 'Boss'

John Holmes called him sir.

[DangerRed]

The only reason for all the security at BMO Field is to keep Danny Dichio away from getting at the visiting supporters' section.

[boomcha]

Danny Dichio once punched a hole in cow just to see who was coming up the road.

[UltraFootyKWC]

Danny Dichio's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

[BC101]

my batty hurts...

[dclaro]

Diciho waited to score at 23:13 because
2+3+1+3 = 9

[craigtfc]

God said "let there be light" and Danny Dichio said "say please"

They tryed to make Danny Dichio tolet paper but it didn't take shit from NO ONE

[ochos]

You're on a need to know basis, and Danny said - you don't need to know..

[SuckerTash]

Danny Dichio can reconcile classical quantum mechanics with general relativity.

When Freddy Krueger has a nightmare, it's Danny Dichio.